Category: El Mazapán de Mimi

  • Microsoft Windows Updated the shit out of itself

    So…

    Microsoft seems to be moving on from PowerShell, Windows Admin Center, Copilot, whatever new name it has for Azure AD, and now it’s trying to push this DNS masking crap that hides shit behind the trafficmanager.net domain.

    And in typical Microsoft fashion, it started forcing its adoption regardless of what users want, but it included itself this time, and it seems to have move most if not all of its domains behind the trafficmanager.net domain.

    Here’s the thing though: trafficmanager.net is blacklisted!

    I didn’t do that, not only that, compared to most of the time, recently it has been the lightest on blocks I’ve had my DNS servers configured with. I’m using only one list, one of the-, if not the most popular out there, StevenBlack’s domains list, hosted by Microsoft’s very own GitHub. So if I’m getting the block, a lot of people if getting it too. Microsoft just Windows Updated itself (fucked itself up) by moving its domains.

    I don’t know why was it blacklisted, trafficmanager.net. It may be because what this domain is doing is illegal (DNS-illegal) as it’s using chained CNAME (or alias) records which is a no-no. Cloudflare even has a name to fix that for you (regardless if you asked for it) with a technique it calls CNAME flattening. As I understand, it basically skips all the CNAMEs and just returns the IP address. I’m not sure of the specifics either because I just chose to play by the rules and not be subject to Microsoft or Cloudflares experiments.

    Of course it could’ve been blacklisted because the clearly deceptive intent this service it’s pushing has, and last but not least it’s the traditional geisha-in-kimono prostitution-oldest-profession reason that we’re talking about Microsoft, a well known bad actor, so it’s unsurprising it was blocked so fast. good. I’ll masturbate over this, I promise. It’s just the right thing to do.

    Speaking of Windows Update though, there’s a chance Windows Update might not be working, I’m not going to give my servers access to the Internet just to check partly because I’d still would have to remember so many policies that block them from Windows Update even though if they’re online, but mostly because it’s a system risk. Not the Internet (although that too), I mean Windows Update.

    I’m was thinking about taking my federated domains off Azure, since I don’t use it anyway, but I held off because of what if… but this is a big big green light to severe that link off. Well… thanks to Microsoft itself: ☑︎

    If you’re fed up with this company’s bullshit like I definitely am, this is so so good, I’m sure it’s got to be fattening.

    I guess that’s it for me, teriyaki kakaroto, padawans. You’ve been enlightened for today. I wish you the most of dicks on this joyous occasion,

    Your sensei. <3

  • Pigging out in Breath of the Wild

    Pigging out in Breath of the Wild

    You know The Legend of Zelda right? You have to, it’s older than time.

    I just started playing Breath of the Wild, one of the latest games in the series, and I’m using latest sort of loosely since the game came around the year 2000 on the Nintendo Switch and Wii U, I believe. I think I have one of those BTW (a Wii U), it’s been loaned for several years. I hope it’s still there.

    As it is tradition of mine, I’ve play most of the game with some sort of computer nearby for help. I’m not a good or even decent gamer, but I have fun and cheating with walkthroughs and whatnot doesn’t spoil the game for me, on the contrary, it gets me excited to get there and see it from myself regardless if I already watched the actual video on YouTube, or this IGN site, or whatever. Sidenote: I feel the same way about movies and TV shows, I need to know what happens before I watch it. I guess I need to control my excitement, I dunno what it is.

    Back to the game with the little mute transvestite, or is it cross-dresser? I don’t know. Leave your comments below. Psych ! This ain’t YouTube.

    Piggying out AKA cooking in Zelda is a little confusing because there are hidden metrics, this does this, but another of this does that.

    Eventually I got the hang of it, if you need help with it, refer to other sites, I’m here just to mention what I did not see anywhere. Not on YT, not on several Zelda wikis or even on this IGN site. It might be IGM, I don’t know, I’m not sure but only because I definitely don’t care.

    There are several food groups right? (I’m including critters and all potions shit in that). The basic food without boost/buff restores health. There’s no equivalent basic food for stamina, the other meter you need to be aware of.

    Oh, by the way, this would only be useful for anybody if they have at least the first row of heart containers complete, and you’ve maxed out your permanent stamina. At this point it’s very likely you’ve the LCD1 has gotten a few outfits for her drag show or not to need any boost meal so you can focus on doing health and stamina replenishing meals. She just needs two garments to get immunity to heat, cold, shocks, vaginas, you name it, so that leaves space to wear a nice little sash but since there aren’t any, your best bet will often be Gerudo Trump helmet, it’s golden and so tacky, but in one piece you get lightning immunity.

    With that done, let’s get to the health replenishers first. This is what I never saw anybody mention. If you have enough, but not all possible heart — or even if you do, since I believe you can’t get the two full rows if you maxed stamina — the only health boost meals you’re ever going to need are those that say something about “max hearts” in the end of the description. AND, this is the part seemingly ignored: YOU ONLY NEED ONE INGREDIENT, that’s it.

    Every ingredient that maxes out (that gives you additional temporary yellow ones after the permanent red ones) your hearts, replenishes those before the yellow ones. You don’t need to add enough items in the meal to get the max and go beyond it, you go beyond it with the first item you, since it’s not a timed boost either, you don’t need any other ingredient. Adding a second item will increase the number of yellow hearts, but I wouldn’t (and I don’t) do that because it would only add two-to-four extra yellow hearts and ingredient, whereas if I use it alone it would add that same number of yellow hearts plus all the red ones leading up to them.

    I would love if somebody had clarified this sooner, or clarifies it now in some popular Zelda mm..whatever but as I said, the game is so old that bringing it up myself would be like opening an old thread or whatever.

    There’s another important characteristic of health augmenters that makes this I think the smarter way of cooking which is that the additional health is overwritten by another meal with the same effect. It doesn’t add up. Meaning if you have only one row of hearts and you cooked a meal with IDK, 4 spiky yellow fruits for another row? Each spiky yellow thingy give you 4 yellows I think, and I think each row is 15 hearts.

    So if you cook 4 in a meal and eat it about to die you get close to 30 hearts. If you accidentally eat another heartboost meal because you’d likely be in a rush when doing this, you immediately lose most of the second row. If you had cooked them separately though and eaten them about to die, insteald of 30-ish hearts, they’d total 75 if you can manage to eat each yellow thingy with a quarter heart left. i.e.

    ( 14.75 + 4 ) 4 = 75
    where
    ( replenished + additional ) yellowthingy = total heart yield

    Whereas all in one meal

    14.75 + ( 4 × 4 ) = 30.75
    where
    replenished + ( additional × yellowthingy ) = total heart yield

    The same goes for stamina, replenishers are good if you have no augmenters, otherwise like regular food, they’re just wasting food space, because as it turns out the lunch box’s space (or however she carries here meals and duct tape) isn’t infinite.

    And there it is, my first unsolicited advice on something I don’t really care that much about, or even am good at, but fuck it, it’s Friday.

    It must be somewhere, right?? That’s how it works, when you don’t have the right day you just call another country;

    Allô France? Ça va salope ! Écoute, putain; n’auras tuuu.. ben.. un vendredi que je puisse utiliser, s’il te plaît? Merci mon coeur, t’es la meilleure, très masculin, grrr ! Je vais te sucer ça délicieuse bite grosse que t’en as à la prochaine ! D’accord, alors, ben— à plus, mon petit cul TBM, j’t’aime !

    If you haven’t played the game, you should give it a go if you own a Switch (not Switch 2, that thing will never belong to you.)

    The game is currently free, if you get from unofficial channels, such as pirated. Don’t worry, Nintendo is okay with it, they accounted for the freebies in the otherwise-raised-simply-because-they-could-price of the official copies. It’s the only logical explanation, and they wouldn’t simply just raise the price because they can, as Nintendo of America’s CEO said, he was probably joking because Nintendo is not evil like that (except only in most and sometimes all of its commercial practices), so the only other meaning that might have is that he’s practically begging you to download it elsewhere.

    1. Little crossdresser, or Link, the crossdresser, whichever you prefer. ↩︎
  • Batshit Logic

    Batshit Logic

    Let’s do a thought experiment.

    Imagine you’re back on your childhood and have these two friends who have been your best friends forever dating all the way back since the last winter, and nobody could ever replace them …at least until the summer.

    One believes Barbie is the shit, the other is stuck in Hello Kitty. You’re done with that and already had your first gang banged pregnancy scare from the Polo team.

    Each friend argues for the other to abandon their fanatism of their chosen brands of brainwash, or else they’re gonna kill each other. There’s no room for the other’s plastic beliefs.

    One day the bickering between your stupid friends escalates to the point one is throwing rocks at the other in the head, leading to bleeding and early onset alopecia, while the other went low, and pulled hair from other regions, and let’s just say they won’t be needing a bikini wax… maybe ever.

    You sit with both friends and hear their ridiculous arguments, they make no sense to you because they’re batshit crazy but you understand where each is coming from thus you understand it’s an irreconcilable difference, and understand that they’ll never see eye to eye, and much less they’ll see eye to that third eye on that slithering appendage you’ve grown so fond of.

    So after another round with your spiritual councilor… and three other councilors now from the football team, calling for god, at last you finally have your cum to Jesus moment, and decide to intervene: you enlist your mom to go talk to them.

    You tell you mom to make them see that both Barbie and Hello Kitty can’t hold a candle to the candle stick you succumb to your knees to prey on— I mean pray to.

    But what exactly do you tell your mom? To force them to abandon their stupid ideas and make them super sluts, believing in only the almighty dick that moves thee world? Or at the very least moves so many right-wing-family-values-down-low congressmen, or senators, and of course moves you up and down on it. While I do think your idea is better, and I applaud your conviction; maybe they won’t be as well-receiving as you have been to men when you try to force your own thing onto them.

    Wouldn’t you agree that the inability to compromise of each side and forcing their belief system onto the other is what got them into this mess in the first place? And now you’re trying make your mom meddle when it’s not her fucking place to do so.

    Right? You must be able to understand this very basic logic.

    Now, replace the friend that loves Hello Kitty for Gaza, and the other bitch for Israel. You are the protesters in the US trying to make the government (your mom) go fucking meddle. The rocks are the missiles, the pussy punches are the underground tunnels.

    What’s the goal? What do you expect to happen? Religious people believe for real in ghosts. As it is, they’re unreasonable, but it gets “better”.

    Religions generally are authoritarian hierarchies, have a fixed perspective, they rule with fear, they are violent, intolerant, misogynists, they shame people and isolate them which leads to exile, suicide, etc. They waste people’s time, strip their rights, or in some places strip people out of their living breaths. And that’s on secular industrialized nations. Can you even begin to imagine what it would be like in a piece of land that’s not considered a country by anyone, with murderous leaders in one side, and a criminal leader trying to get a superhero moment on the other; so hopefully his pending trial is forgotten.

    When I was watching students protest on the news earlier today I was dumbfounded, or rather founded many dumb on screen… whatever. Don’t you have something better to do than force your leaders intervene where it’s none or their fucking business? What do you think it’s going to happen.

    You have a aspiring self-obsessed dictator who also happens to be a serial rapist and serial liar. Proven to cheat whenever he get the change serial lying rapist running for president and your giving talking points to the crazy party with this stupidity.

    If you want to help, don’t try to impose your will by walking around outside on campus and call yourself an activist. Get on a fucking plane and go fight the fight if you truly mean it. Otherwise just go back to class or to Tik Tok to finish training the AI that will replace you.

  • I think Apple may sell UI templates soon

    I think Apple may sell UI templates soon

    While making a wrapper self-contained macOS app for a script, I went searching for some basic guidelines for light vs dark icons.

    The host OS is High Sierra, there’s no dark UI in High Sierra so it’s only the menu bar, it was going to be quick. However, ADHD led me on that familiar journey so far off from where I started landing me on this page, with a little video showcasing that synthetic world Apple thinks we live in.

    It’s about macOS’ design. At minute 7:35 (7:29… 7:— for context) the presenter says: “…and gives you this new look for free.” Keyword: (for) free.

    I’ve been exposed to US culture long enough to know that whenever the word “free” is thrown around, it does not mean without cost, gratuito, pour rien, gratis or how we say in my totally-native-Japanese-and-not-the-lousiest-translation-I-found-in-the-Dictionary-app ただで, 無料で.

    I won’t say it out loud because the wound is too Kyoto-fresh not because I know shit how to pronounce it and stuff. Bashful geisha emoji.

    Free in English, I think all English but mostly North American, is emphatically saying that there’s a catch, or a chance for you to “beat the game” and happy US citizens and to an extent regular1 happy Canadians might try, and that’s fine if it’s like a happy hour, where even if you lose you have a blast but this if fucking Apple.

    1: Regular Canadian happy’s US counterpart is not seen in the wild, it is very rare. It’s often confused with happy US citizen, or vacationing US citizen but they all have they same trait: stress. Regular Canadian happy’s US counterpart closest related species is coital US citizen. But so are every other counterpart in the world.

    sensei v. — teriyaki muchas gracias

    There’s no winning Apple. They forced the world into evergreen apps where all dev effort goes unpaid but it’s amazing for their marketing of purchasing once stays in your account forever. So we developed the most egregious and insidious tech in regards to privacy and addition.

    And when that got old, we moved into subscriptions, to pay for the most basic, shit we’ve always have available on a recurring basis. e.g; Evernote, mail clients

    You cannot escape it either, because these shitty devices need to be contacting the mothership if you have device tracking on, and now that macOS has a T2 chip and Activation Lock in it, it means there’s only one way of officially developing software for Apple devices, sure you may use your own shit before you get to it but nonetheless you’ll eventually will have to get to that point: Xcode.

    Xcode, which happens to be an Apple product, along all of those other products policing what code that doesn’t make Apple’s own built-in code (i.e; apps) look too bad even thought they have unlimited reach over anything unlike your code so you can have Apple’s blessing (literally) to get published. After paying the fees, of course.

    Apple welcomes every developer to run their web apps in its capable Safari browser. Mind you not extensions because those have to be written in Xcode too now so customers can conveniently find them all grouped with tens, even dozens others in a single leeching-developer-infested den in the app store where, when seen as a group, makes you reconsider using Safari.

    Can you imagine if Apple wants to charge for design packs too? In-App Developer Purchases. Isn’t it already enforcing some stupid design guidelines? Which — to be fair — ain’t misguided; but Apple is since it has had no Jobs.